THANK YOU SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER

And so, with the 2006 season poised to begin, I lower my trousers and assume the position. The persistent pose of my life as a Cubs fan. The buoyant optimism that marked the start of the 2004 and 2005 seasons? Gone, squashed, pummled, beaten over the head until a gooey substance oozed out. But hey, at least Pat and Ron return to the broadband-pipes. And Carlos Zambrano remains a stud. Wood can kiss my ass. Prior's got some work to do before I get all gushy again. The rest of the team? Who knows. They look good on paper, but sometimes--and especially where the Cubs are involved--that paper can chafe something fierce when its wiping your ass.