THE RETURN OF GLUMDALCLITCH

Glumdalclitch of Brobdingnag, aka John Rauch, has returned to the Nationals' bullpen from an extended stay on the DL. At 6'11" and 260 lbs., the 27-year old is like Randy Johnson (6'10", 230 lbs.) on hormone growth drugs. His reach is phenomenal—he clearly shaves two feet off the formidably short distance between the mound and home plate, requiring batters to think faster...faster.

Nice to have you back, John. Don't look down on the rest of us mere mortals, k?