WHINING CALENDAR

In 2002, Jenny and I went to Italy in early May. Our itinerary was Venice, Florence, Cinque Terre and Rome. In Venice, I had no access to Cubs scores, which, while odd, was okay (I'd spent all of April listening to them lose, and, well, I was in Italy, there were other things to pay attention to). In Florence, our hotel offered a community computer with internet access but all I found was more losing. I checked the Cubs website again in Rome and remember reading about the new phenom who was about to make his debut, Mark Prior. I was excited, but given the team's performance to that point, I decided that the season was already over. In an effort to thumb their nose at this decision, the Cubs won 6 of their next 7. I was excited, I wanted it to be true, but nah, those wins were a half-hearted gesture at best. When I went to Houston a month later to watch them play the Astros, Kerry Wood had the second highest batting average in the lineup.

But you speak of "The Cloud of Doom". "The Cloud of Doom" gives me the willies. 2002 was a bummer of a season, but I never stressed. When "The Cloud of Doom" exists ... ugh, pass the Tums. It's an entire season of watching a team that is just good enough to contend: if they love you, a single hot streak makes an impact; if they don't, a single lapse breaks your heart; if they're plain sadistic, they'll keep "contending" only to self-destruct inches away from the finish line.

2005 has started to feel like a "Cloud of Doom" season. I think we should both turn to surfing.