CHICKS IN BASEBALL

I noticed it for the first time two years ago, and then again in greater frequency last year. This year, between spring training and the first handful of regular-season games, it's epidemic.

That's right. Chicks in baseball.

I'm referring, of course, to the chick broadcasters who talk really quickly and lob grenades like, "What's your favorite football team?" or "How about those new trans-fat-free garlic fries?"

Oh, I know that male broadcasters are equally guilty of pointless banter. And I've seen guys with helmet hairdos stand in the aisles with the fans, looking like Lysol cans, ready to disinfect any drunk who touches them.

But the chicks are the worst. With their terrible plastic hairdos, completely fake proclamations ("I've been a fan of yours for twenty seasons!"), and natty little voices -- cognitive dissonance in a sea of old-school testosterone -- these tomorrow ladies prove only that somebody with a persuasive Powerpoint presentation won the argument and got a budget to try something "different."

The continued feminization of EVERYTHING is getting old. When you see it thrown at an incontrovertibly male sport, it just looks like ornamental ass.